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| Additional Info About esvie |
| Location: |
Philippines |
| Bio: |
I've been on medication for depression and anxiety for over a decade now. When this happened, I was 15 and optimistic that the medicines will work. Honestly, I thought I was going through a phase. But after over 10 years, I've only gotten worse--I started regularly seeing and hearing things, become prone to violent fits, and retreated deeper into isolation. I've long thought about killing myself--since I was a teenager--but it's only recently when I've "come out," so to speak--actually spoken about suicide to friends and family. I thought "coming out" would improve my mental state, but it hasn't.
I have to at least be thankful that I have very supportive parents (well...my dad is, but I'd like to think my mom is trying, even though she often only makes things worse) and friends. But they just don't get it. Both my parents are overachieving, grounded individuals. Two of my friends have attempted suicide, but they're not chronically suicidal--one attempted suicide after she was rejected by a boy and the other did it when she was bullied by her classmates. I'm not trying to belittle what they went through, but they're not chronically depressed and anxious. They're not plagued by voices unintelligibly screaming in their heads. They're not hounded by visions of frightening creatures from who knows where. They can get over rejection and bullying; they know where the pain is coming from and how to stop it. I don't know what's wrong with me and when I'm ever going to get better. And that's utterly frightening.
My doctor thinks I could get "better" by interacting with like-minded people. There is no chronic suicide support group in my country, so I thought this would be a good alternative. |
| Sex: |
Female |
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