Chronic Suicide Support

I find it hard to really express how I feel inside, or why I feel the way that I do, but I wrote this poem about 2 months ago that I feel describes it as best as anything will. I have written several poems over the last 2 years, and while I usually don't name them I decided to call this one "Alone" since it fits the poem perfectly.

I have a big problem, though I don't even know where to start
It feels as if there's a giant hole deep inside of my heart
Even though it feels empty, it's also as heavy as a stone
Most likely it's from this horrible feeling of being alone
No matter how much it hurts, it's a feeling I simply hide
With this pain on the inside, it feels as though I've died

All I want is to feel loved, but it's something I've never felt
Now I'm starting to think it isn't in the cards I was dealt
When it comes to being alone, I feel as if I'm just cursed
And I don't think it's a feeling that will ever be reversed
I really wish I could lift this curse, and finally feel free
Though I think being alone is the way I'm meant to be

I look for that special someone, but I know I'll never find anyone
So I've come to the point where I've given up, and I'm just done
Never will I have a girlfriend, and there's no chance of a wife
I'm cursed to be alone, and it seems that's how I will spend life
Doesn't matter what I try, nothing will make things right
I'm tired of being alone, so I've given up this fight

I meant to respond, in your intro and ask you if you'd share some of your poetry ... thank you for reading my mind!

As a 70 year old bachelor - damn, do I relate!!!

Need I remind you that forum sections that end in an asterisk are open to the public?

I don't mind sharing more of them. I have I would say around 12 or more (I lost count honestly) and none of them are too personal or anything to keep me from sharing them. I just need to organize them since they're spread all over the place. I do type them out but that also means I have a bunch of individual text documents, then one text document with several in it, and checking my laptop yesterday I saw I had 2 on that which aren't with the rest.

I wish you didn't have to relate to it, it's not a good feeling to have and is one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Don't worry I know about the public forums, but thanks for the reminder.

(09-04-2018, 02:14 PM)haywud Wrote: [ -> ]I find it hard to really express how I feel inside, or why I feel the way that I do ....

You express your feelings remarkably well - and beautifully!

Thank you! I've always felt like what I wrote was never all that good, but it is very nice to hear compliments about it. I guess I have a better time putting my feelings into poems than I do just saying how I feel.

It's nice to have somebody on here who also likes to write poetry. You write beautifully and maybe I'll get up the courage to share some of my poetry thanks to you. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you as well, I really appreciate the positive feedback. I always doubt that what I write is any good, though it seems others that I've shown some of my poems to say they're good so that's always nice. If you do share any of yours I'll definitely check them out, so I'll try and keep my eyes open for them. Maybe something you've written will help inspire someone else to share theirs, or to even start writing some of their own.

Wow, that was awesome. Hopefulle we will see more of your poems later.

Thank you, I appreciate that. I do have several others, though I feel like most of them are pretty much the same sort of depressing message as the rest. I wrote one a couple days ago that is more positive, written as if I was writing it for someone I would really want to be there for and help. I'm not really sure what made me write it to be honest. I guess maybe I wrote it hoping I could meet someone that I could have something more than a friendship with and then show it to them, but I know that isn't happening. I'll share it anyway though, it's actually the only one I've ever written that I've actually liked.

When the skies have turned dark, and you feel pain
Let me be your shelter so you're out of the rain
Even if the sky is cloudy, and things don't seem right
Don't worry about a thing, because I'll be your light
Doesn't matter how dim, it will never be too dark
We will build us a fire, and I'll be your spark

I'll be your protector, your sword and your shield
I'll fight with all my might to make sure you are healed
There's no opponent too strong, and no battle too tough
I will never leave your side, even if things get rough
Yeah things are tough, that's just the way it's been
Though if we fight together I'm sure we will win

So if you give me the chance, I will give you my hand
I will be there to lift you when you can't stand
When the only thing you can feel is that of defeat
Just know I'll try my best to get you back on your feet
You no longer have to deal with this pain on your own
Let me be there for you, and you won't have to be alone

Thank you for sharing. I love reading poetry.