Chronic Suicide Support

Hi all,
I've been using this guided meditation to get to sleep for the past week. It is a mild form of hypnosis... 
I have noticed my thoughts being calmer during the day and my mornings when i become conscious have been less tearful or anxious. I even had a nonviolent dream (rare for me) (about playing soccer, yay!)

The meditation takes you canoeing down a river to your own private place that you create. It is work to focus on her guiding words while relaxing. I have to do a lot of slow deep breathing to calm my system. some nights i get there and some nights like last night my thoughts keep interrupting my ability to sink into the vision and explore the place, but i still enter sleep in a more calm way. Other nights i have had success in fully immersing myself in the vision and exploring the land.

The link takes you to the app, (audiojoy) which has a million meditations. It's free! I have it on my android phone. 

The meditation I use is found under "guided meditations for mindfulness, relaxation, and sleep (20+ mins each)". You have to scroll down a bit to get to that section. Select it and a menu of meditations comes next.
The one I use is titled, "Falling Asleep Meditation 22:40"

Be advised, if you are sensitive like me, i don't recommend all of the meditations. I tried a few and they made me cry inconsolably (i am really sad, clearly, or you could say in constant fight/flight... and it was telling me to see myself as solid and strong like a mountain, which I am not.... so i then felt more guilt and shame than i already do...), so I learned to listen to them all the way through without participating first to make sure i wasn't triggered.


via Guided Meditations on Audiojoy

http://taps.io/BYQaA

I have to pick on you ... if you don't have an Android device or and iPhone (meaning just a PC) you're out of luck as far as I can tell. You ( @UnicornSmudge ) do say that you have it on your Android and if I hadn't stepped on mine and cracked the screen Id try it out. (( Replacement tablet arrives tomorrow. ))

I do have several (*MANY*) easy listening / nature tracks hat I listen to sometimes.

@Dragon
Totally fair! I haven't used a computer regularly in a few years, so i get it. This is definitely limiting in access for those without a smartphone or apple device. I did think of that when i decided to post, but should have mentioned that, i see now. In the not so near future/when i feel more motivated, (i say when, not if, since I'm not dead yet i tell myself, it has to go up from here, right?) I'll try to find and post something along these lines. I'm sure there are websites out there with similar recordings, I actually am pretty sure I probably have this information written down somewhere, but i am so very disorganized! So much papers !

I can't sleep so this would be the perfect moment to try this, but I'm too lazy to open this on my phone * yawns *. Guess I'll stick to some calm music and try this another time * note to myself *