The Worlds Biggest Lies

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This is the biggest collection, of the world's biggest lies ever told...

The check is in the mail.

I'll respect you in the morning.

I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.

It's only a cold sore.

You get this one, I'll pay next time.

My wife doesn't understand me.

Trust me, I'll take care of everything.

Of course I love you.

I am getting a divorce.

Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

I never inhaled.

It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

I never watch television except for PBS.

...but we can still be good friends.

She means nothing to me.

Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."

I gave at the office.

Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.

I'll call you later.

We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

Read my lips: no new taxes.

I've never done anything like this before.

Now, I'm going to tell you the truth.

It's supposed to make that noise.

I *love* your new _____!

...then take a left. You can't miss it.

Yes, I did.

Don't worry, it's OK - I'm sterile.

[Beacon]

You forgot "I won't come in your mouth"...

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i never forgot anything i'm not the one that wrote the lies ,
i'm just the one that tried to share some fun with the hope that ,
no one would hold me accountabe for everything that gets forgotten in the world

[EyeScream]

or how about 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman.'

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they can't do that one cause it wasn't a lie

[stopsfungus]

You forgot \"I won't come in your mouth\"...

Or 'just the tip, I swear.'