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Let's see ....
#1
At the request of one of our members, I'm willing to try an experiment.  Let's see how this works.

A few caveats are in order:
  • This is an open area of the forum - that means that guests can read it.
  • Do not even think about using this as a method of setting up a suicide pact!
  • Any abuse of this section or any abusive posting in it will be dealt with severely.

My apologies if this sounds unnecessarily strong, but my first concern is for the safety and happiness of everyone who visits here.  There are way too many things that can bring us down, let's not allow this are to be one of them.

//al (( dragon, administrator ))
We live by each other and for each other. Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.
-- Helen Keller
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#2
I guess, I'm not in the right mood now to create the thread, that I was going to create, and I'm not sure when I'll be. So, I might as well just address the "Why"s (and "Why not"s) for now.

First of all, I apologize if anyone feels, that the very idea of looking for a girlfriend / boyfriend in a suicide-related forum is a bad taste, annoying or even offensive.

But what exactly is so tasteless, annoying or offensive about it?

Is the very idea of a chronically suicidal person looking for a significant other so bad ?
( Or is it so bad if they look just for a date ? Personally, I do not, but sure I don't judge people who do. )

Or is it just a wrong place ?

Some say, we'll just drag each other deeper into depression, but doesn't the very existence of this forum speak against it, or at least in favor of taking this risk?

Some say, that people with suicidal thoughts are (likely to be) unable to maintain a relationship.
Basically, they say, that we should first cure ourselves, before we look for love.
My take on this:
I for one don't look for a cure from within.
Some of the reasons for considering to end my life are innate attributes of my soul, and I don't want to (and even can't) change it.
Some of the reasons are related to certain unfortunate events and unfortunate decisions I made - I don't want any help "to cope" with it either. These bad things grow so strong only because the good, enjoyable, exciting things are too few and too weak.
The only thing, that would make my stay in this world worth it, would be if I found a kindred soul, and there was at least a bit of physical attraction.

Is it so weird to wish to find a significant other, who shares your believes regarding the right to die?
Or can understand the beauty of the abyss, void, nothingness?

Assuming, you agree, that such a wish is not wrong,
where can you look for a person like this?
We are so few, that it may take forever to sift through friendship & dating sites, before you find a like-minded guy/girl. Some of these sites seem to ban/delete accounts for suicide-related tags / profile text. Some others don't, but many people don't know it, and are afraid that it might happen ("so, why bother"). Also, it takes some courage to mention this topic in your profile (or keywords), because there's a possibility of harassment by anti-choice vigilantes. Also, there're some problems with maintaining your privacy on such sites (though I'd rather not go into details). Let's face it: we are the new public enemy, the outcast, the ones who should keep silent. So, why not band together and at least create a chance for like-minded people to find happiness in this world?

I guess, the cat out of the bag. Yeah, it was my idea to create this section. It's not like I want to take the credit. It's more like taking the responsibility and bad rep >.>

I would be glad if someone (besides me) found this idea useful and posted a profile (a request, an ad... however we call it) before me.
I guess, it would be better if anyone, who posts a profile, creates a new thread.
Please feel free to include as few or as many details about yourself and the one you're looking for.


[Image: abdQD0T8.jpg]
( credit for the image: flowerdrop )
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#3
Since this was BrightShadows idea, I'll let him take the credit with no problem.  If he hadn't mentioned it, I don't think I would have considered it and I'm not sure that it's not worth considering.  (( oh there I go with double negatives again, hope that was understandable ))

I do think he has some good ideas - looking at the "sane"  world for companionship is a seemingly good way to find ourselves rejected, so why not look to others who really do have some idea of what we're going through.
We live by each other and for each other. Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.
-- Helen Keller
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#4
(11-13-2013, 09:02 PM)Brightshadow Wrote: I guess, I'm not in the right mood now to create the thread, that I was going to create, and I'm not sure when I'll be. So, I might as well just address the "Why"s (and "Why not"s) for now.

First of all, I apologize if anyone feels, that the very idea of looking for a girlfriend / boyfriend in a suicide-related forum is a bad taste, annoying or even offensive.

But what exactly is so tasteless, annoying or offensive about it?

Is the very idea of a chronically suicidal person looking for a significant other so bad ?
( Or is it so bad if they look just for a date ? Personally, I do not, but sure I don't judge people who do. )

Or is it just a wrong place ?

Some say, we'll just drag each other deeper into depression, but doesn't the very existence of this forum speak against it, or at least in favor of taking this risk?

Some say, that people with suicidal thoughts are (likely to be) unable to maintain a relationship.
Basically, they say, that we should first cure ourselves, before we look for love.
My take on this:
I for one don't look for a cure from within.
Some of the reasons for considering to end my life are innate attributes of my soul, and I don't want to (and even can't) change it.
Some of the reasons are related to certain unfortunate events and unfortunate decisions I made - I don't want any help "to cope" with it either. These bad things grow so strong only because the good, enjoyable, exciting things are too few and too weak.
The only thing, that would make my stay in this world worth it, would be if I found a kindred soul, and there was at least a bit of physical attraction.

Is it so weird to wish to find a significant other, who shares your believes regarding the right to die?
Or can understand the beauty of the abyss, void, nothingness?
I think this is a good idea, though this site is so small, I doubt I will find anyone and I've basically given up on the idea. I find that any woman I get to know, who may be interested in me over the Internet, is quickly turned off once we actually spend time together. I am not "fun." I have a serious mental illness.

I hate living alone, and like you, I believe if I found someone I deeply cared about who also deeply cared about me, I would stop seriously considering suicide.
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#5
(12-17-2014, 07:11 PM)jumper Wrote: I think this is a good idea, though this site is so small, I doubt I will find anyone (...)

Yeah, I still don't understand why so few people, that contemplate suicide, find their way in this forum. There're some really big anti-choice forums. In comparison, this forum is so small... Maybe there's something wrong with us, that we pro-choice... (joking^^)


Quote:I find that any woman I get to know, who may be interested in me over the Internet, is quickly turned off once we actually spend time together. I am not "fun." I have a serious mental illness.

I'm curious... if you had a choice, would you choose a girl with a similar illness or a cheerful, easy-going one? I for one would welcome the both scenarios (as long she's open-minded), but as for potential risks - I'm much more afraid to be a burden to a normal girl, than to face the dark/crazy side of our sister in arms, so to speak.

Besides, I may be wrong, but it's hard to imagine, that a normal girl would even find me interesting.

An awesome (yet rare) example for a cheerful, easy-going girl that I *can* imagine a good relation with is Hajime from Gatchaman Crowds, especially looking at her in the final episode. Not that I’m evil like Katze. But I guess, it would be not fair to waste Hajime’s awesomeness on me (yep, I’m still slightly obsessed with her, even a year after this show… and I’m sorry to use an anime reference, I guess you’re not into it, nor anyone else on this forum >.> )

Quote:I hate living alone, and like you, I believe if I found someone I deeply cared about who also deeply cared about me, I would stop seriously considering suicide.

And yet – decades of loneliness can turn even an angelic soul into a worthless black pebble ;_;

I'm sorry if my post made little sense; I got a bad cold since yesterday evening, and my mind is more clouded than usual ^^;
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#6
BrightShadow, I'm with you ... I've found a lot of Pro-suicide sites ( where the emphasis is on legal assisted suicide ) and the anti-suicide sites ( You're damned to hell if you even think about it ). I try hard to keep the discussion open for both alternatives - since they really are alternatives - and I don't think I could pay most people to come visit us.

You've had a cold and I've had an ear-ache (which is rare for me, I seldom get sick <knock wood!>) sounds like a good time to just leave us alone! Take care of the cold, pneumonia is the pits!
We live by each other and for each other. Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.
-- Helen Keller
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