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Chronic suicidal thoughts & implicit memory
I came across this article recently that hypothesizes chronic suicidal ideation stems from infancy.  I'm not sure how someone could prove that, but I thought the treatment recommendations were interesting:  certainly, the usual admonitions to keep busy or just don't think about suicide have not worked for me.
“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ~ Seneca
The theory explains my situation very well.  I now understand where 'I don't matter' and 'nobody cares' comes from ... mainly from my mother's indifference towards me since I was a young child.

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