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A poem
I wrote this poem a few months ago:
i waited for you
scared to demand your arrival
but more frightened to go on without you
practicing unusual patience
and then
after a few weeks
new information
a simple phone call
a stupid phone call
could be placed by anyone
but that was all that was needed
and you were on your way
the authorities said
“you must sign”
and I knew I couldn’t
so daily
and unique
pilgrimages home at midday
to await the arrival of the note saying
“you must sign”
so I could make other arrangements
yesterday I came  home
and there was no note
today I came home
and there was no note
but you were there
unsigned for
but present anyway
immediately I felt a weight lifted
a quickening of excitement
at the prospect of release
a small bottle
filled with peace
an exit in a bottle
a vial of letting go
a way to stop this tired heart beating
a request for a desert island by my beloved
but you are for me
and now
it doesn’t matter
i don’t know why I still care about anything
mere habit
the force of a lifetime of being responsible
maybe ensuring that I have the freedom to act when the time comes
nothing matters
i can live with freedom
knowing that the door is always there
you will be there to carry me
to let the pain end
to stop the tears
to let me go
my treasure
my insurance
thank you

Also, if you'll indulge me, I got mad at all those "helpful" people in the world and made a website basically telling them off for being idiots:  First it was just informational, but then I saw I could make a cafe press store, and came up with a couple of kind of funny tshirts.  I'm not trying to sell them, I just thought people here might appreciate the humor.
&quot;She lives for the written word, and people come second or possibly third&quot; - Girl Least Likely To, Morrissey<br /><br />&quot;I think self destruction is honourable. I always thought it was. It's an act of great control, and I understand people who do it.&quot; - Morrissey, 11/09
WOW!!!!  Hi Catenin, so you're the person behind that web site, FANTASTIC!!  I've had a couple of people point me toward it in the past few days and I seriously love it!!!

Your poem reflects one of the topics that wanders through here from time to time - that once we have the freedom to make our exit, the pressure to do it seems to relax a little. 

Welcome to CSS, Catenin, sorry you're here.  //al
We live by each other and for each other. Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.
-- Helen Keller
I LOVE your site. It's awesome and very intelligently written.  Smile
"I want to thrive, not just survive." - Thrive, Switchfoot
Great poem...fantastic website!!!
“Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live” ~ Charles Caleb Colton

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