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You Will Laugh Your Ass Off
#1

I wasn't even sure whether to put this under 'spirituality' or 'entertainment.'

I'm guessing that places like this are the reason most of you hate religion.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/?

I've been reading there for an hour and I still can't tell whether any of these people are serious.
The Universe is expanding<br />But I don't feel a damn thing<br />There's nothing you can do about it <br />Keep on dancing<br /><br />- That Handsome Devil, &quot;Loving Parasite&quot;
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#2
I Especially love the disclaimer.

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian â„¢ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.

"I want to thrive, not just survive." - Thrive, Switchfoot
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#3
I'm fairly certain it is in jest. If it isn't, then God help us all.
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#4
"Your heresy is akin to jamming your immortal soul into a large electrical socket"  O0

"You need to repent before Jesus tosses you into Hell like a used Kleenex" O0

"We have every right to rebuke you until the day that Jesus flicks you like a child's booger into the Lake of Fire" O0

If anyone tries to argue with them they just ridicule that person's spelling and grammar and ignore what they said.

Oh, and I guess I live in the same state as most of the people on the forum (most of them attend the same church). I could probably call 911 on the guys who brag about beating their wives if I wanted, since most of them give their full names, the name of the small town they all apparently live in, and (of all things) Facebook profiles.
The Universe is expanding<br />But I don't feel a damn thing<br />There's nothing you can do about it <br />Keep on dancing<br /><br />- That Handsome Devil, &quot;Loving Parasite&quot;
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