When in the dreary hour of decline - Printable Version +- Chronic Suicide Support (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum) +-- Forum: Other Stuff (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Creative Outlets * (https://www.chronicsuicidesupport.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=20) +--- Thread: When in the dreary hour of decline (/showthread.php?tid=280) |
When in the dreary hour of decline - adonais - 05-16-2009 A sonnet. When in the dreary hour of decline I sit and think on life’s untrodden ways, And how they left, bereft of their sublime, My sum of waking hours and all days; When fond remembrances shall cease to bear The yoke of blissful sleep, and every dream Reveal thy comely countenance: I fear The end of night, and dawn’s dispelling beam. Thus like a weeping willow I becloud My soul with tears. Yet do I tend a space Where even silence seems too like a shroud Of woe—And wistfully I lift my gaze Above the emerald boughs, where skylarks play In warbled rhymes, entreating me to stay. Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - Sadstguy - 05-16-2009 (05-16-2009, 08:01 PM)adonais link Wrote:A sonnet. heh...your first few lines of rumination remind me of When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be by Keats. Excellent sonnet. I like the alliteration, imagery, internal rhymes, well-structured enjambment...and your innovative twist on Shakespearean sonnet, with the ebeb ff ending (instead of efef gg). I'm curious how long this took to craft. I see many "sonnets" cranked out...yet it always takes me considerable time to craft one (not that I could ever reach this level!). Not only the skylarks, but I also entreat you to stay...and create more pieces of beauty! Thank you. --S Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - adonais - 05-16-2009 (05-16-2009, 08:59 PM)Sadstguy link Wrote:heh...your first few lines of rumination remind me of When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be by Keats. Yep, you know your Keats. I was very inspired by that poem and was trying to achieve a similar kind of rhythm. I don't remember how long I spent on this one, it is actually several years old; I was reminded of my old sonneteering days from your replies in your other thread. I think I worked on it for a couple of days, but I should have spent much longer of course, it is rather troubled in several places and could definitely have been written much better. Oh well, I'm not pretending to be a real poet, I'm just a lowly poetaster ;D Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - failology101 - 05-16-2009 Wow that was very good. Poetry is so mysterious and difficult for me. I can manage Haiku, but a fluid, well structured sonnet feels like it takes some real technical skill. Hats off to you. Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - Sadstguy - 05-17-2009 (05-16-2009, 09:11 PM)adonais link Wrote:I think I worked on it for a couple of days, but I should have spent much longer of course, it is rather troubled in several places and could definitely have been written much better. Do you happen to know/recall who said that a good sonnet couldn't be written in less than a month, or something like that? Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - adonais - 05-17-2009 (05-17-2009, 12:49 AM)Sadstguy link Wrote:Do you happen to know/recall who said that a good sonnet couldn't be written in less than a month, or something like that? I don't recall that, but I doubt it was Keats, considering his 15-minute sonneteering duel with Leigh Hunt in 1816, wherein he wrote the sonnet "On the Grasshopper and the Cricket". ;D Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - Sadstguy - 05-17-2009 (05-17-2009, 06:30 AM)adonais link Wrote:I don't recall that, but I doubt it was Keats, considering his 15-minute sonneteering duel with Leigh Hunt in 1816, wherein he wrote the sonnet \"On the Grasshopper and the Cricket\". ;D ...thus demonstrating what a slacker he was, most of the time... ;D Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - JenniLynne - 05-17-2009 (05-16-2009, 08:01 PM)adonais link Wrote:A sonnet. That was very good..... Thank you so much for sharing..... My knowledge of poetry is extremely limited (by that I mean, about all I know about poetry I've seen in the movie Dead Poet's Society)...... It is lovely though and I thank you for sharing...... Please do share more (that goes for you as well Sads, and anyone else as well)..... Peace & :ht:, Jenni Re: When in the dreary hour of decline - snuggles - 06-14-2009 you're super, please keep writing :H: |